By no means are these tips meant
to encompass the enormity of raising a child. Just a few pointers to ease
you on your journey of parenting.
1. Love your child. OK this
goes without saying, but love is more than just a feeling. Love is all
those late night, or early morning feedings. Choosing the best, in your
opinion, childcare, if needed. Deciding whether to stay home to raise the
baby or go to work. Of course, love is more than these things. But
those are a few ideas of love and what it entails.
2. Stay calm. Now in theory
this sounds great, ideal even. However, when you have a baby crying for
an hour, and nothing seems to pacify him or her, staying calm is the last
thing you can do. So, how do you get calm when panic is tearing at you?
Practice. Force yourself to stay calm. Remember those Lamaze classes? Try
some of those techniques. Not the pushing part, the breathing.
3. Enjoy your baby. Its funny
how quickly all those cute smiles, pudgy legs and arms quickly disappear.
In a blink of an eye your baby is a child. Running around. And then next
thing you know they are off to school.
4. Take lots of pictures. Keep
one of those disposable camera's handy. I find one in the Baby Bag, one
in the car, and one in the house perfect. When you look at your baby, and
get that enormous tug at your heart, take a picture.
5. Breast feeding. Now for
some of you this is impractical or impossible. But for those of you that
it is not, I can not more strongly recommend it.
6. Walks in the park. Or anywhere
else. Get out, cover up baby appropriately, (sunscreen, hats etc.) and
enjoy the days. I found walking pushing my baby (now older of course) bonded
us. It was a way to be together. Plus, on a more innate level, I was "displaying"
my baby in pride for the whole world to see.
7. Form or join a co-op baby-sitting
club in your neighborhood. This is great. You watch the others' children
for a set time, per child and you get the same hours back for yourself!
That one hour all to yourself per week is great! Never will you enjoy a
shower, bath or nap so much.
8. Read to your baby. I was
studying Plato at the time my son was born. So, I read it to him. Being
a captive audience due to being unable to crawl or walk away, I got the
best of both worlds. I was able to study, and I was able to read to him.
seemed to soothe him, and
my grades didn't drop.
1. Love your child. Hmm seems
to be a theme here. Now that your child isn't completely dependent upon
you as (s)he was as a baby, it slowly dawns upon you that your whole life
is still, for the most part revolving around your child: what job you have;
what school they go to; etc. Sometimes frustrations set in. Its OK to be
frustrated. That is natural. If it wasn't meant to be frustrating, women
would deliver instruction manuals with the children they deliver.
2. Read to your child. Well
this may seem like normal advice for a new parent. But, even 10 year olds
still need to increase their bonding time and brains by reading. And although
they look kinda big, they still are kids. They just don't want to be "embarrassed"
by their parents in public.
3. Keep that co-op sitting
going! You the parent, still need your time.
4. Attempt not to buy toys
that are "gender specific". Just because you have a daughter, does she
have to have the world's largest collection of dolls? No, not unless she
truly wants it, and you can afford it. Buy your daughter that doctor's
kit. Buy your son that doll. Help encourage your children, through their
toys, to be the best fathers and mothers they can be. Help encourage your
children, through their toys to be the best person they can be.
5. Remain calm. Another toughie.
Remember those Lamaze classes? Well it seems that even through their childhood
years, those techniques are still needed. If you have a "temper problem"
seek out Anger Management Classes. Many areas offer those for free.
6. Manners. Many children now-a-days
are taught to say no to strangers, say no to other bad influences, but
how many are taught manners? Remain consistent with your teachings of manners.
This does not mean teaching your child which fork goes where, but, when
wrong to say "I'm sorry", "please" and "thank you" for all times. Not just
adults, nor just other children. But everyone.
7. Take pictures. Once again,
these childhood years will sweep by, and before you know it, you will have
a teenager on your hands. These pictures will soothe you as you face and
battle the terrible teens.
8. Educate. Unfortunately in
this day and age, there are many harmful influence, start teaching your
child what roads are wrong to travel in life. Do it on a level they can
1. Take pictures. Now things
are trickier at this stage. Some children turn into teens and you stop
and look at your child(ren) and say, "Who are you?" Its hard to believe
that a few short, precious years ago, that child(ren) was smiling up at
you as you played peek-a-boo. Pretty soon, this person(s) in front of you
will get married (perhaps), have a career, children of his/her own, go
to college. Once again, cherish this time, no matter how hard it is.
2. Remain calm. Hmmm...still
this strange piece of advise. Yes, that's right, good old Lamaze techniques.
It gets harder to remain calm when you have your "baby" pointing out your
downfalls or flaws. They fight with you in a combination of Adult/Child
techniques. However, they are still your children. Never is it appropriate
for you to "fight back" with those techniques. Words you say today, can
and will scar for life.
3. Join/form a support group.
Things too tough for you to handle on your own? Then don't. Enlist some
help. Years ago, everyone would help in the raising of children. Now -a-days,
parent(s) are on their own. But it doesn't have to be that way. Your church
can help, minister, friends, those from the co-op sitting club you were
in, your family, the list goes on.
4. Be observant. There are
many roads your teen can travel. Pay attention. You can possibly prevent
some roads from being traveled by your teen, saving her/his life, even.
5. Educate yourself. Find out
what these different roads are your child can travel. Find out the warning
signs. Mentally arm yourself for any possibilities.
6. Talk to your child(ren).
Try to force yourself to speak to your teen in a more adult manner. Patronizing,
condescending tones will get nowhere with a teen. Try to resist. Think,
7. Educate your teen. Keep
up those teachings of what is wrong and right. They many look like adults,
but they are still your child(ren) to mold into great people.
8. Love your teen. Showing
your love gets more complicated at this stage. Everything seems to embarrass
your teen. But perhaps listening, really paying attention to your teen
go on about, what to you seems blasé', will help show that love.
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